Shambles

Realizing I’m breaking

in new places

deeper ways than ever before

the core of me: rattles, shakes, splits

I am but dust amongst broken remnants

all of me swirls

in a rage

a torment

of feelings

definitions

I don’t know how to make sense of anything

I don’t know who I am anymore

I don’t know anything

lost in my own shambles

You

I let you in

I knew better

I knew your truth: the good & the bad

I looked past your darkest points

because at all times I see your beauty:

goodness

that tender heart that has won me completely

But here I stand

holding my broken heart in my hands

you’ve crushed me

broken me in ways I never saw coming

I don’t let people close

but I let you

and now I’m the one being punished

I’m the one trying not to fall apart

because I’ve lost you

You’ve traded in our friendship for someone new

You broke me

and in the midst of all this pain, torment, torture

I still find myself loving you

wanting to make sure you’re okay

I hate that

I hate that you’ve torn me apart

and yet I still love you