Good-Bye Normal

Normal

is composed

of a million little things

smiles

laughter

dynamic stories

crazy moments

and most of all

you.

You are one of those million little things

that composes my normal

my everyday

a warm smile

an understanding ear

you are my familiar

Today, everything changes

you step out of my normal

and into someone else’s

honestly, I don’t want to say good-bye

because I will miss you.

For you are kind

you are spunky

you are appreciated

and will be missed

beyond measure

So, let’s both take a moment

to say good-bye to our normal

because in the end, we both know

you are going to miss this charm and smile

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Slowly

Slowly I open

Like the freshest of blooms

Slowly taking form

Revealing my color

Finally showing who I am

I am still weak and small

My strength not yet known

Yet I struggle on

I yearn for life

For freedom

To be imbued with ravenous sunlight that devours all my shadows

Take it, cut my shadow away that I may be free of my darkness, my past

That I may be free to stand in the truth of my destiny

To bloom where I have been planted

Heart

Sometimes I feel broken. Today is one of those days. No matter what I do, say, or try to be there is an echo of emptiness that consumes me. I feel a failure, trapped in a wasteland of anxiety. I have so much to do, so many responsibilities, and commitments, but no drive to keep on going. I’m not speaking of suicide I don’t have the energy to contemplate it. I’m speaking of the desire to simply waste and fade away. No longer being forced to exist, that’s what life feels like at this point… Forced. I don’t know how to go on with these shackles of exhaustion, hopelessness, and suffocation. It is not purpose I desire, nor vision, but simply heart. I desire to have my heart back. To have it alive, feeling, passionate. Right now it just feels broken and depleted. How do I heal it? How do I bring it back to life? How do I believe that it can go on? Sometimes I feel broken and today is one of those days… If only I could heal these fissures.