The Stoop

Standing on the stoop

dripping from the downpour

released from this unrelenting storm

With drenched curls plastered against my face

I wait for an answer

a sign that someone inside

has heard my pleading knock

As I stand there with clothing suctioned to me

I ask myself why am I here?

The answer thunders in my mind

as a deep-set rumble echoes in the sky

You needed a safe place

a friendly face

a loving embrace.

Ugh, why am I so needy?

I should be here with my mind focused on you

Your well-being. Not me.

A body stands behind the door slowly it opens

I hear myself apologizing for the late hour

asking if you are there

“Nope. Not here.”

I nod my head

hand over the pad of paper I have somehow kept dry in the surrounding down pour

I turn on my heel

head back into the raging torrents

loneliness engulfs me

penetrating far deeper than the rain

it is here that I see as much as I try to resist it

I am a misfit

So out of place

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Storm

The storm outside rages
With the same propensity as that of my interior being.
Rain drops fall at the same lightning speed
As that of the tears cascading down my cheeks.
The scream of heartbreak is echoed
In that immense deafening thunder roar.
The storm rages
It rages
All around

Conviction

I feel the potential of you

with deep set conviction.

 

Can you feel it?

That unmistakable knowing

that you will one day bloom

into something far greater

than any of us had ever imagined possible.

 

I’m not convinced of this fact.

No, I am far beyond convinced

when it comes to the reality of you.

I see it. I smell it. I feel it to the core of me.

How great you will be

and the restorational change you will bring.

 

I hope that you too

will be convicted

of the potential of you.

Deep down to the marrow

housed within your being.

 

You are so much more

than what you perceive yourself to be.

My dear, beauty and light are your substance.

No more grey; no irridescent light instead.

Effervescent joy is who you are.

Truly.

 

I stand here

as a voice of encouragment

a continuous breeze in the sails of you.

 

I believe in you… wholeheartedly.

 

If you were a boat,

I would be the wind

in your sail.

Well at least one of them 🙂

Time in the Sun

“I need some time in the sun”
I hear myself saying
With that half serious half sarcastic smile on my face.

I hear you chuckle
As the smile gleams
From your lovely face.

Slowly the words I uttered sink in
Not to you but me –
“I need some time in the sun”
Could it be that simple?

I need some time in Your light and immeasurable warmth.
The rays of You bring such deep healing.
To places I didn’t even know I had.

The warmth of You goes deep into the sinews of me.
It’s there I feel it suddenly: healing, renewal, strength.

I just need some time in the sun.

Night

I love getting home late at night

The walk from my car to the house

is so beautifully tranquil

The night air smells faintly sweet

as the breeze gently kisses my cheek

Serene peace

and a light heart are the marks left

I slowly walk toward the house

Pausing every so often

to drink in the beauty housed in that moment

Quiet

Stillness

Calm

The night is so different

from the harried day.

I can breathe in syncopated rhythm

with my beating heart

no rush

just stillness

bliss

 

Window

Pondering out the window.

Life flutters through my mind

as little chickadees fluff their feathers

on the fence post.

The smell of laundry wafts up the stairs

burning in my nostrils.

Oh that strong scent of clean

seems to wash out my lungs.

The sun presses down

upon those waxy leaves

of the tree in the backyard.

I wish I was that tree.

Strong, beautiful, soaking up those warm rays of light.

One day…

One day

I will find my inner strength

and shoulder the beauty that defines me.

Until then, I will keep

pondering out the window.

Confession

A text to my best friend

contains my raw reality

“I feel like such a failure.”

The reply almost instantaneous.

“You must say no to that lie. Ask God what you are, my dear. Really.”

So God, here I am.

With one question…

What am I, really?

Dear One,

You are learning

to follow me

to trust

to live my call.

So dear to my heart.

Cherished by me for more than what you see contained within you.

Dear One,

You are Mine.

You follow My heart.

You listen to My voice.

You seek My face.

You are mine.

And I am wholly devoted to you.