Standing on the stoop
dripping from the downpour
released from this unrelenting storm
With drenched curls plastered against my face
I wait for an answer
a sign that someone inside
has heard my pleading knock
As I stand there with clothing suctioned to me
I ask myself why am I here?
The answer thunders in my mind
as a deep-set rumble echoes in the sky
You needed a safe place
a friendly face
a loving embrace.
Ugh, why am I so needy?
I should be here with my mind focused on you
Your well-being. Not me.
A body stands behind the door slowly it opens
I hear myself apologizing for the late hour
asking if you are there
“Nope. Not here.”
I nod my head
hand over the pad of paper I have somehow kept dry in the surrounding down pour
I turn on my heel
head back into the raging torrents
loneliness engulfs me
penetrating far deeper than the rain
it is here that I see as much as I try to resist it
I am a misfit
So out of place
The storm outside rages
With the same propensity as that of my interior being.
Rain drops fall at the same lightning speed
As that of the tears cascading down my cheeks.
The scream of heartbreak is echoed
In that immense deafening thunder roar.
The storm rages
I feel the potential of you
with deep set conviction.
Can you feel it?
That unmistakable knowing
that you will one day bloom
into something far greater
than any of us had ever imagined possible.
I’m not convinced of this fact.
No, I am far beyond convinced
when it comes to the reality of you.
I see it. I smell it. I feel it to the core of me.
How great you will be
and the restorational change you will bring.
I hope that you too
will be convicted
of the potential of you.
Deep down to the marrow
housed within your being.
You are so much more
than what you perceive yourself to be.
My dear, beauty and light are your substance.
No more grey; no irridescent light instead.
Effervescent joy is who you are.
I stand here
as a voice of encouragment
a continuous breeze in the sails of you.
I believe in you… wholeheartedly.
If you were a boat,
I would be the wind
in your sail.
Well at least one of them 🙂
“I need some time in the sun”
I hear myself saying
With that half serious half sarcastic smile on my face.
I hear you chuckle
As the smile gleams
From your lovely face.
Slowly the words I uttered sink in
Not to you but me –
“I need some time in the sun”
Could it be that simple?
I need some time in Your light and immeasurable warmth.
The rays of You bring such deep healing.
To places I didn’t even know I had.
The warmth of You goes deep into the sinews of me.
It’s there I feel it suddenly: healing, renewal, strength.
I just need some time in the sun.
I love getting home late at night
The walk from my car to the house
is so beautifully tranquil
The night air smells faintly sweet
as the breeze gently kisses my cheek
and a light heart are the marks left
I slowly walk toward the house
Pausing every so often
to drink in the beauty housed in that moment
The night is so different
from the harried day.
I can breathe in syncopated rhythm
with my beating heart
Pondering out the window.
Life flutters through my mind
as little chickadees fluff their feathers
on the fence post.
The smell of laundry wafts up the stairs
burning in my nostrils.
Oh that strong scent of clean
seems to wash out my lungs.
The sun presses down
upon those waxy leaves
of the tree in the backyard.
I wish I was that tree.
Strong, beautiful, soaking up those warm rays of light.
I will find my inner strength
and shoulder the beauty that defines me.
Until then, I will keep
pondering out the window.
A text to my best friend
contains my raw reality
“I feel like such a failure.”
The reply almost instantaneous.
“You must say no to that lie. Ask God what you are, my dear. Really.”
So God, here I am.
With one question…
What am I, really?
You are learning
to follow me
to live my call.
So dear to my heart.
Cherished by me for more than what you see contained within you.
You are Mine.
You follow My heart.
You listen to My voice.
You seek My face.
You are mine.
And I am wholly devoted to you.