Struggle

The struggle
Sometimes it’s cathartic
That push and pull of life
Giving and fighting with all you have
Maintaining your ground
Never giving up the inches you’ve gained
As you pursue to conquer just another inch
Just another inch
And another
The struggle
Sometimes our greatest foe and stress of life
But all the while it reminds us
That we are indeed alive
Pushing and pulling
Our way through
To another conquering moment.

Rapha

Rapha the name of healing

how it calms and releases

peace to this wearied soul

Rapha a name that I cling to

Desperately

Why? You ask

Because you see I

have a sickness

an illness of soul

That only the possessor

of that name can heal

Rapha, the name

that will bring change

to this wearied soul.

Tonight

Tonight I realized

To the core of my being

That I have finally

Grown into an adult

No longer am I the girl

with loose blond curls

continually falling into

her eyes

Now I find myself a woman

with determination

and silent confidence

Being grown is scary

frightening

no longer a girl

yet terrified to be a woman

for fear of being alone

To be grown

is to be on your own

To be on your own

is to be alone

To be alone

is worse than death

Being grown

exhilarating

terrifying

and all together

lonely

Oh tonight

Spring

Paralysis of winter broken

Purples and pinks paint the horizon

Bringing life to the washed out canvas of the wearied sky

Birds twitter on their way to their old haunts of yesteryear

If only I could break out into a new season

A new awakening

If only the paralysis of disappointment

hurts

shattered dreams could be broken off me

If only the canvas of my life

could be spattered with fresh purples and pinks

Maybe one day

Spring would be my inner reality

The paralysis broken

Beautiful Friend

Oh beautiful friend

I like the way you put sentences together

It feels like I’m on a journey sometimes.

 

Oh beautiful friend

I treasure our moments together

because I know that someday they will only be a lovely memory of what use to be

 

Oh beautiful friend

I wish you could see the way that I see you

Then perhaps you would realize why I am so understanding

 

Oh beautiful friend

How you add to my life

I wouldn’t trade you for anything

 

Oh beautiful friend

I aspire to be

of your caliber

truly

The Cool of the Evening

Warm
Crisp
Spring air

Bringing
Revival
Back
To these
Emaciated lungs

As I stand
In the darkness of the night
Breathing in the beauty of the swirling breeze
I can’t help but feel hopeful

For what I do not know
But the season is changing
Hope is stirring
Life is coming forth
From what was once thought dead

Warm
Crisp
Spring air
Enlivens my very soul

Overwhelming

Overwhelming

life

work

loneliness

so much overwhelms my heart

stress surges in the very veins

which channel my existence

i look to the right

and to the left

seeing the reality

of all of life

surrounding me

i am not enough

for the challenges i meet

its too much

to fathom

grasp

know how to deal with

my existence has simply become overwhelming

everything now seems to push me to the brink

of becoming overwhelmed yet again

but there is one thing

that helps maintain my sanity

one thing that proves enough to center me

one thing that makes all of life worth it

the moment where love

pure love

overwhelms every fiber of me

pure love

in its sweetest form

a blended fusion of mercy and grace

poured out and rushing over these weary bones

it is here

in that very moment

that to be overwhelmed is not a loathsome experience

but all that i long for

and crave

Round

Round
And
Round
And
Round

Seems to go life

Every time
You think
You have conquered
Your tallest mountain
You soon find
In the next step
That you are right back at its base
Looking up at the reality of having to conquer it all over again.

Life in its monotonous tone
Is often overwhelming
And most assuredly deafening

I live for adventure
For thrills
Newness

What I find
Is that around every corner
Is the same thing I’ve seen before

And then all at once
I find myself
Going
Round
And
Round
And
Round
Again

Faded

A faded scar.

That one on my right wrist

a forever reminder

of what could have been

the beginning of the end.

So much pain

countless tears.

Now only memories

and a faint scar remain

seemingly staining my skin

for always.

Continually in plain view

forever overlooked

by all who glance upon me.

Even those closest

most dear to my heart

have never taken note

of what could have been

the beginning of the end.

Occasionally I let my fingers

graze over it

and linger on the scarred tissue.

If only to remind myself

that all pain

can be survived.

I still remember

what drove me

to make that first deep cut.

So much pain,

so much memory

contained in

one

faded

scar.

Branded

Speak and I’ll listen

has always been

the chosen motto of my life

To be there

with listening ear

and open heart

It’s who I am meant to be

But no one ever told me

the other side of this coin

of life purpose

Speak and I’ll listen

can easily become

wearing the weight of the world

at times

Hearing the deepest pains

and not being able to save anyone

Every heros nightmare

Especially when it comes to those you love

My heart is to help

to save

to rescue

But there are times

when even this hero

must stand on the sideline

shouldering the weight of what’s been told

while allowing the speaker

to live their life

as they choose

Regardless of what choices are made

Remember this..

Speak and I’ll listen

always