Night

As the sun fades behind watercolor clouds

and day shifts suddenly, slowly into night

my anxiety rises

 

Night is a different entity

one where the somber reality of day

becomes an inescapable nightmare

 

Every time I close my eyes

I live the horrors all over again

My deepest fear

the very scene that stopped my heart mid-beat when I was younger

 

Losing you has changed my whole world

I don’t know how to get it back

how to sleep

to live healthy

steadily

purposefully

 

I’m drowning in a sea of black

every morning

the sun brings out shades of gray

every night closes in

with blankets of obsidian first

and then coal black onyx

 

That is life

coal

black

onyx

 

It is here in the onyx evening

where there are no heroes

there is no optimism

the only thing flourishing

is anguished heartache

here where my life’s worst moments

swirl endlessly in my head

 

Night

makes me beg for Day

as tears cascade down my raw reddened cheeks

and the anxiety closes in

maybe I can make it through

another night in a world without you

 

 

 

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