As the sun fades behind watercolor clouds

and day shifts suddenly, slowly into night

my anxiety rises


Night is a different entity

one where the somber reality of day

becomes an inescapable nightmare


Every time I close my eyes

I live the horrors all over again

My deepest fear

the very scene that stopped my heart mid-beat when I was younger


Losing you has changed my whole world

I don’t know how to get it back

how to sleep

to live healthy




I’m drowning in a sea of black

every morning

the sun brings out shades of gray

every night closes in

with blankets of obsidian first

and then coal black onyx


That is life





It is here in the onyx evening

where there are no heroes

there is no optimism

the only thing flourishing

is anguished heartache

here where my life’s worst moments

swirl endlessly in my head



makes me beg for Day

as tears cascade down my raw reddened cheeks

and the anxiety closes in

maybe I can make it through

another night in a world without you