Finding You

Finding you

I realize

is what

I desperately



So lost




I have lost you

and in doing so

have lost me too


My own heart

seems to be


from my very body


my only companion


an obscured myth



I look for you

because you

are my

last chance

we both know

I’m dying


on the edge

of pulling a trigger

I can never

recover from


Finding you

is now

my only hope

but in reality

it always has been

I am My Garden

There in the corner

residing against the fence

Never wanting to get in the way

but also desperately desiring to be noticed


There I am

in all my reality

tilled, broken, bleak

not seemingly good for much

just a plowed pile of dirt


I am my garden

small, weak seedlings

slowly emerging towards the sun


This is me

spindly, awkward

unsure if I can really make it

If I can ever grow into anything more than a seeming weed


Those seedlings you witnessed

are my hope, my love, my perseverance

those fragile little entities

are all that there is to me


I can’t make myself grow

but it’s so scary to stand tall and vulnerable,

waiting, hoping to gain another centimeter

eventually another inch

So one day

I can be strong and lovely

just like that garden

over there in the corner


I’ve been waiting for you to come save me

to take me from this wicked reality

but I finally realized that you already have


I don’t have to stay here

these shackles are no longer mine

for you have brought freedom directly to me

You’ve redeemed me

heart and soul


I’ve been captive

for so long

I don’t remember what freedom means


How do I step past these shackles

leave this cell in a dungeon

I’ve seemingly known forever


So, I stand here like an imbecile

completely free but still waiting

to be saved


I wait and plead

for you to lead, to take me from this labyrinth

of desolation and pain

from this dwelling of hopelessness