Why?

Why do you love me,

trust me,

insist there is goodness inside of me?

Why don’t you give up on,

abandon,

say “you’re not worth it” to me?

Why do you open up your heart,

your home,

your life to me?

Why do you think I’m worthy?

Help Me

I keep giving you the benefit of the doubt
Keep trusting you
Showing you my most vulnerable side
My deepest love
Literally giving you everything that I contain within me
because I know you are worth it…
yet you speak ill of me to others when I’m not near
you prove over and over again that you only care about you
it’s clear to see that my name is not safe on your lips
you don’t love me, not truly
so why do I keep giving all of me to you?
Help me understand why I care when you clearly don’t give a fuck?
I’m a broken heart and a broken soul that needs to let you go, because everyday with you destroys me a little more.

Gentle Joy

Some giants are pint-sized

Some warriors are wounded and worn

Some intellectuals have the largest hearts

I’m realizing that you more than caught me by surprise 2 years ago

You surprise me everyday

I tell you you’re incredible

That you’re amazing

Try to express how insanely much you mean to me

I don’t know if you truly realize all that you are

But I will tell you this…

You’ve saved me more than once

Loved me when no one else would

Held me as I shattered apart

and gently put me back together

Over and over again you speak hope and light into my deepest darkness

You are the strongest, bravest, biggest person I know

and I can honestly say I’d be lost without you

 

Motion

Forever in motion

continuously changing

you think you have me pegged

all figured out, from head to toe

there’s no way

because every morning I wake up

having no idea who I truly am

you don’t “know” me

because I don’t even know me

so stop thinking you have all my answers

and let me learn all my layers

of complexity on my own.

I’m forever in motion,

stop confining me.

Okay?

On edge
spinning out of control
heart racing
so hard to breathe
can anything pull me back from the brink?
slowly losing my mind
hope ebbs
strength recedes
I’m losing me
but is that okay?