Shattered by four words

“you cant heal yourself”

How did she know the echo of my heart these past months


I’d barely been honest with myself,

let alone another.

“you cant heal yourself”

This is my reality

My weakness

That I must wait upon you Lord

To bring the healing that I so desperately need

Waiting upon you

As you undo the chains that enslave my mind

As you take my tainted hands and make them clean again

Waiting upon you


Shattered by four words

“you cant heal yourself”


By a whisper

“I love you,  just as you are”

Redeem Me

Redeem me oh God

Once again I have strayed

Fallen away from the path you have set before me

Trying to lose myself in tawdry things, of no value

Gratifying my need for

from things that can never give what I truly desire.

My deepest desires are to be known

And therefore loved intimately

I keep searching and searching
For these two things
In all the wrong ways

The arms of another
A life of pretend

But in the end these sources always leave me wanting
Proving again that I am unloved and unknown

All the while I know that you are the source I desperately desire

That you are the one that knows me

You are the one that loves me

I long for you

But why do I seek other things?

Other things that I know will never know me as intimately as you do.

Maybe I run to the things that will know me generically, so that I would receive an illusion of intimacy. Because it is in those things I never have to become truly vulnerable. I retain my mystery, my independence, and my safety.

To choose you,
to run into your arms is to let go
Of every built in protection that I have in my life

To be known by you
Is to be vulnerable
To be seen
Completely bare
Nakedly revealed to you in all ways

Oh God redeem me
Receive my naked form
Take me into your embrace
Change me
Redeem this heart once again.