No More

Oh God, rescue this weary heart.

That you would quench this ever deepening thirst.

Oh that you would hear the cry that echoes through my whole being.

I know I can’t continue on this road.

You’ve asked me to keep on going but I’ve got no more to give.

I’ve reached the end of my understanding.

And yet you keep me on the verge of my breaking point as you continue to add pressure.

God I’ve truly got nothing left.

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i find myself

on bended knee,

crying out on your behalf,

openly weeping

for the pain

that i know

consumes

sharing your burden as best I can

praying, pleading, desperately seeking

for you to find relief…

calling out

to  the

only

source

i know of

God – help my dear friend                      

Why?

Why do you love me like you do?

Take me into your arms and reassure my anxious heart.

Why do you want me?

Have you seen all that I’ve done??

I don’t deserve your love nor your affection.

I don’t deserve you at all.

Yet I hear you gently whispering

Come to me beloved

rest your weary head against me

listen to the song I sing over you

my love sees the truth of you

and its okay.

You’re not perfect, I know

but I love you anyways

I know your past, but I know your future too.

I see you and I smile, for I love who you’re becoming.

I know you will come to love you too.

slowly

i’ve been slowly giving up

just ever so subtly

so no one else would notice,

until it was too late

distracting others with my sleight of hand

is my specialty

to keep them from seeing my brokenness

at least most of it

but my voice

always seems to give me away

i can’t hide the defeat

not anymore, at least

honestly i have tried

to move beyond this wall

to press on

struggle against my weaknesses

but in truth i’ve failed

so, here i stand

drooped shoulders

cascading tears

realizing all at once

that when i spoke to the wall to crumble

You crumbled me

so, what do we do with these pieces?

piece

loneliness peels away the layers of my facade

showing the truth of me

i am broken

messy

unlovely

in desperate need of saving

 

my voice reveals the defeat of my heart

i try to put on a brave face

try to hide the fact that i’m drowning

rapidly sinking

into this abyss of pain

turmoil

ache

 

i avoid eye contact

for dread that you

will see the fear

overwhelming me

 

i wander off

alone in the kitchen

holding back tears

as i try to make some sense out of –

life

God

letter magnets

but to no avail

 

loneliness

is tearing me apart

shred by shred

piece by painful piece

the truth of i

i judge books by their covers

people by the things unsaid,

hidden behind the tears in their eyes

i give money freely

but my time reservedly

knowing which is of true value

i listen expectantly

speaking carefully

loving continually

i quietly observe

hearing silent requests

not reading minds, but seeing hearts

i live life as if today is my last

not for morbidity

but for love

i have learned

in overwhelming tones

that love is the whole point

Fortress

Prison...♪♫

Sometimes my fortress of solitude

seems more like a prison.

Where heavy burdens are laid,

upon this ever weakening frame.

I stagger and begin to crumple

under this new weight.

Struggling to not be overcome

I eventually find myself standing erect,

once again.

This fortress may be my prison,

but every time it breaks me

it strengthens in the same moment.

Is it a prison?

Or my place of freedom?