Without You

I’ve sat here for hours
trying to find words
that will somehow say everything
contained within my heart

I never saw this coming
My world without you
Everyday brings new aches and pains
Each memory turned bittersweet

Holidays and birthdays
that should have been spent together
are now heart rending reminders
that life is not how it should be

Those around me
express their concern, love, support
as much as I know they care
it doesn’t stop me from falling apart
The ache doesn’t release nor ease
My heartbreak is my own burden
even in the midst of a thousand vows of love

Words fail me
my heart is a blackhole
a void exists in my soul
and every moment I am unquestionably aware
that my chest aches anew with each breath

I can’t help but exist
but no matter what this one truth
is my new reality
“My whole world is dark without you.”

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The Little Things

My mind races
With how much I will miss you
Regardless of where I am
Thoughts overwhelm my heart

It’s not even the big things
That cause my breath to hitch in my chest
But instead the million little things
Like the way you smile
When you find what I say charming
That laugh of yours
The way your muscles react to my touch
The smell of you (fabric softener, warmth, & the scent unique unto you)
The warmth that radiates from you

The little things
That I so easily took for granted
And now seemingly ache for

We are a million moments
You are every memory
Your pieces
Complete me

Miles Apart

Runny nosed

and tear-stained

as I ponder how much I miss you

I keep reminding myself

that this is a good move for you

that you will excel and prosper

like you’ve been aching for all these years

But my heart

my heart doesn’t want the physical distance between us

it wants you close by for always

because i love you, cherish you… need you

Do I love you enough

to be strong

as the miles between us span farther and farther?

Yes.

I know I do.

I know my heart is forever bound in loyalty to you.

I can’t help but love you even more

as I hear you tell me about your day, your week, your new life.

I realize this is good for you,

with each passing day I’m more convinced.

But my heart can’t stand this truth of having to let you go.

Of knowing that one day you’ll find a new version of me, who will become your new best.

For it seems that my soul is destined to be a part of your life,

in however many forms it must take to be with you.

Miles apart

aching

and overwhelmingly

missing you