Some giants are pint-sized
Some warriors are wounded and worn
Some intellectuals have the largest hearts
I’m realizing that you more than caught me by surprise 2 years ago
You surprise me everyday
I tell you you’re incredible
That you’re amazing
Try to express how insanely much you mean to me
I don’t know if you truly realize all that you are
But I will tell you this…
You’ve saved me more than once
Loved me when no one else would
Held me as I shattered apart
and gently put me back together
Over and over again you speak hope and light into my deepest darkness
You are the strongest, bravest, biggest person I know
and I can honestly say I’d be lost without you
spinning out of control
so hard to breathe
can anything pull me back from the brink?
slowly losing my mind
I’m losing me
but is that okay?
Love the voice of my redemption, restoration, the battle cry of my resurrection… you save me from my inner torment, when I don’t know if I can keep going you call to me once again. Ever deeper, ever knowing, ever consuming.
You keep my heart from dying.
Loneliness eats away at me like a parasitic disease.
At its strongest I feel my very heart start to die within me.
Suffocating, squeezing, consuming…
Yet in the worst of moments I feel you, hear you, see you.
Your touch on my skin reminding me there is still warmth in the icy tundra of the world.
The words that escape your lips press so deeply into me, like the gentle reassuring pressure of a hand in the small of my back.
I don’t think you realize how you keep me from losing all sanity.
Every interaction, every moment you recognize me as a human being, as more than a mere face in the crowd, you save another part of my heart.
I withstand the abyss because of the love you offer and reinforce me with.
Hope is a foreign element
to my overwhelmed heart
It’s so alien
so hard to try to capture
let alone hold onto
They say its essential
that without it we die
That’s where I am dying…
Tonight I was rash
Normally, I’m planned, methodical, well-formed
Tonight I knew something had to change
I took hope and etched it into me
into my very flesh
trying to make it a part of me
The pain of hope mixed with my life blood
As I tried to catch my breath
I knew that this was the beginning
of a new
Hope will be mine
and I will own it with every breath
The truth that composes isn’t always pretty. Love me anyways.
Don’t give up, don’t let go, for the truth is you are not as alone as you believe yourself to be. One day hope will come like the sun on the horizon and shatter all your shadows.
There in the corner
residing against the fence
Never wanting to get in the way
but also desperately desiring to be noticed
There I am
in all my reality
tilled, broken, bleak
not seemingly good for much
just a plowed pile of dirt
I am my garden
small, weak seedlings
slowly emerging towards the sun
This is me
unsure if I can really make it
If I can ever grow into anything more than a seeming weed
Those seedlings you witnessed
are my hope, my love, my perseverance
those fragile little entities
are all that there is to me
I can’t make myself grow
but it’s so scary to stand tall and vulnerable,
waiting, hoping to gain another centimeter
eventually another inch
So one day
I can be strong and lovely
just like that garden
over there in the corner